Of all the things I've done

Which of the following is not true-

1. I have handled a nuclear warhead.
2. I have seen a live sex show
3.I have witnessed an accidental death up close.
4.I spit a wad of chewing gum from the top of the Eiffel Tower.
5. I have spent time at a correctional facility.

Richard pics

Someone told me today that he admired Brett Favre. He believed Brett has secure female companionship in the past by send girls pictures of his appendage.  I KNOW that this would not work for me, unless perhaps it was wrapped in hundred dollar bills. If you are female, let me know if a picture of anyone's penis would encourage you to date that person.

Moving

Someone I know just moved to Texas. Just my two cents, but to find out where you are, you have to be somewhere else.

Cows

At the game Sunday, a friend of mine, unhappy with the result called a Steeler fan- a fat cow. Her companion protested, saying you should not talked to ladies like that. Friend in question responded- " You call that a lady- Mooo!". A fight nearly ensued.  His war cry- You call that a lady- Mooo! became his war cry for the next 10 minutes until we could herd him out of the stadium. Could be I need better friends.

mildly astute observations about nothing.

Let's see how this goes

It seems to me that an inordinate number of vehicles get stuck on railroad tracks. A metaphor for the human condition? A panic stricken ant stuck in the glare of bright light shining on their pathetic existence. Nah, jsut a drunk ass who stalled their vehicle.